Well, friends, it is official. We have taken our house off the market. We are staying here. There have been some little clues over the past few months that have made us stop and think that maybe this little spot we are in is the best one for our family. So when we made the decision this weekend to stay-put, it felt good. Really good. There were no tears (I had already cried those earlier this summer) and no regrets. Every change I have made to the house are ones that I made with the idea that we might stay. Every paint color I chose, ever piece of furniture I gave away, I did knowing that I might be the person living with them.
Even though there were no tears and no drama this weekend, I cannot pretend that this decision was easy or lighthearted. I am sad that we will not be living at the little farm we had found. I really did love that property- the land, the pound, the barn, and it does break my heart a tiny bit to think I would get to see it again. But the truth is I don’t really know what that life would have been like there. I don’t know for sure that it would have been wonderful and perfect. From I can tell, farm life is actually very hard and unpredictable. And expensive. So I guess what I am really sad about is losing the life I had imagined. Let’s be honest, I am sad about losing my Pinterest version of farm life.
Do I still have farm dreams? Yes and no. One thing this experience has shown us is that Sweet Man and I didn’t always have the same ideas and goals for life on the farm. Not that either of our dreams was wrong, they were often just different, and at times opposing. So now we are thinking that maybe a small, semi-remote, river or lake cabin weekend get-away paired with our current city-home is more what would be best for our family and our lifestyle.
And of course we have big backyard-homestead plans for life on Ridge Road. Gardens, more chickens, tree house, laundry line, compost pile, bee keeping perhaps? So maybe the best of best worlds, both on a smaller scale, is what is in store for our little family.
So now here we are. And suddenly there is the house. Our lovely, lovely house. Which suddenly feels like one big blank slate. I have not let myself dream about or fluff this house in at least two years. I had gotten in a funk and then there was the whole moving thing.
Well, those days are over and I am fully enthralled with this house again. And with really making it ours. Doing all those things we have thought of doing – kitchen remodel, screen porch, half bath off the master, red roof – but never gotten serious about.
But first, there are some curtains I need to change out, some light fixtures I need to reclaim, and some white paint that needs to disappear. And I need to plan the House Re-Warming Party. I mean, any excuse to have a party right?
We do live in the country on 8.5 acres and so does my daughter in west Pul. Co. with 5 kids and 2 stepkids who are there some of the time. There are wonderful things about it, but it truly is so much work and it can be exhausting! Something always needs to be mowed–mowers and other equipment are always breaking–animals are always needing care and it's so expensive and exhausting. People are always dumping their unwanted dogs and cats on your farm–it can be heartbreaking. Someone dropped off two Yorki-poos at daughter's farm two weeks ago. The half Pyranees dog (a dumpee himself), rescued the first one–carrying it home in his mouth. Daughter found the other one dead in the road! A red doberman mix, the half Pyranees, a labradoodle, and a full blood St. Bernard and two cats were dumped there in the past 2 years! Also ponds are very dangerous for children–Boys find them irresistable. I personally know of 4 people who lost little boys to pond accidents from age 2 to eight yrs. old. Not worth it to me! Thankfully we don't have a pond and daughter's boys are computer geeks who don't care about fishing and throwing rocks! But little Emma–aged 2–I'm terrified of her getting out and heading to the pond. So glad to hear you are at peace with your decision–wait til those boys are a little older and see if you still want farm life.
Aw Jerusalem, I love that you are re-loving your house. It is so charming and sweet. We went the farm route as a young family and we all loved that experience, but life was not simple or easy. Sometimes not even fun. One needs to be independently wealthy to maintain a small farm. I believe I aged 25 years in the 15 we spent enjoying the good life. A cabin on the lake or in the mountains or by the shore will give you the best of both worlds. Stand strong, Lady.
You know the old saying, bloom where you are planted. I'm glad you are staying. I know how it feels to want something so bad you ache though. This is why I try to stay away from Pinterest and even some of the design blogs, because sometimes they make you feel as if what you have isn't good enough. all these places seem picture perfect but the family is shattered in the process of keeping up with the jones'. You have a beautiful family and a beautiful home. Kick back, relax and enjoy YOUR beautiful life!!!
I'm a little sad- but secretly more happy that you will still be my neighbor! I adore the new mailbox color and still waiting for that house painting party call! 🙂 Hugs, my friend.
There must be something better in store for you! These things happen for a reason! Enjoy your home and bringing it back to your style!
love your hankie curtains from older post, any idea where i could find those? you getting rid of yours anytime soon? your style is perfect and i love everything i've seen!
not sure how to contact you thru email.
thanks,
denise
I actually can relate to this so much…even though we are happy to be back in Illinois, I had a hard time letting go of my impression of life in Colorado…even though my life didn't look at all like that dream life I'd drummed up… funny we moved three times in two years before realizing how very, very happy we are in our little spot in this world… humidity and all. 🙂
Personally, I can't wait to see what you do to re-warm your house… and when you're done…how about that Ikea trip? 🙂
I am so very glad that you have no regrets. That you can accept a change in dreams with peace and aplomb. Bravo. Thank God, really – I know.
North, south, east, west–home is best.
{or something like that}
We all have these dreams and sometimes we are living it right.where.we.are.at!
blessings,
kara
{love you pic & curtains!}
I am on the sweet little farm of my dreams, white house, red barn, lake out front, horses, cows, kids, etc. And yes ma'am, IT IS HARD WORK! We are so busy farming that I can't do all the cute stuff. The English herb garden is a disaster, the landscaping has been eaten first by horses, and then cows, I can't find the time to make the denim slipcover for the sofa to match the one for the loveseat, I haven't finished painting the REALLY old wood floors, the pool is turning green, the free range chickens ate the garden 3 times last year so we ditched it this year. And these sweet little farms ain't cheap, so we traded out other things in life for this farm life! So I have lowered all my expectations (totally unreal fantasies) and am learning to relax with the dirt. Country Living Magazine it ain't. Country Life it is. So ENJOY where you are! The grass always looks greener on the other side of the fence and we miss how luscious the grass around us is! I do love our farm, but now totally know the reality of it as well. Enjoy your home!!!
I have been struggling to find time to get on the computer lately and am very behind on visiting you here! Big stuff going on, huh? It sounds like you are going to bloom where you are planted. That can be a great thing.
You know once upon a time we were very torn between in-town life and country life. I still sometimes long for country life but realized that it was so much work and would end up being a lot of me getting frustrated with the hubby for not wanting to do it. We ended up where we are supposed to be. Also, I have plans for the big garden, clothesline and maybe chickens too. We already have the treehouse, a composter and a rain barrel to boot. I'm wishing hard for a miniature donkey but there is that whole braying thing we have to overcome before that can become a reality.
Congratulations! You are no longer living in flux. You are just living!