When I look at this picture I can’t believe how much has changed in the 19 months since it was taken.
I can’t believe how much bigger my boys are now. Here Miles is still a baby. Not even walking yet. Wylie is 4 and 3/4, not even in kindergarten yet. They were so little.
Now Wylie is 6 and 1/2 and is starting to look more and more like a big kid. The little boyness of him slowly falling away, like leaves off the trees… Eventually they will all fall off and he will be awkward and naked in his puberty years before growing into a man. I want to grab what is left of his littleness and hold it and save it in a bottle forever.
Miles is now a full on toddler and is the cutest he will ever be. His cherub cheeks and puppy dog eyes melt my heart to the core. He has so much passion for life – every experience is intense and NOW! He has yet to develop any of the ambivalence towards life that we seem to take on as we grow older. Joy and Sadness are very present to him in the moment, there are no filters, no self-monitoring. He just is who he is when he is.
As much as I long for nights where I sleep through the night, and days without diapers and sippy cups, looking at pictures like this make we want to freeze time and just bask in it. They will not always be little. The will not always have round cheeks and easy smiles. They will not always rush to me when I come home, or crawl into bed with me with the sunrise. They will not always bask in my kisses, or sit in my lap stroking my face while I read. They won’t always tell me what they are thinking (whether I ask or not) and I won’t always be their favorite person.
And so I want to remember the little things. The things like the way their necks smell, the way their baby hair lays against the back of their necks. The songs they sing on the way home from school. The way Wylie says “Mudder” for Mother and Miles says “Yeths” for Yes. I want to remember the way they look in their pj’s, early in the mornings rubbing their eyes as they stubble to the kitchen for Cereal Time. I want to remember the way their shoulders and elbows feel so small in my hands and they way it feels when they put those little arms and hands around my neck and pull me close for Eskimo kisses.
Those are all the little things I love so very much, and I hope I never forget them, not ever.